Engagement: Moving from Spectator to Performer in Your Own Life

After coaching entrepreneurs across 45 countries, I've witnessed a concerning pattern: Most people are spectators in their own lives.

They watch others perform. They observe others achieve. They witness others build remarkable companies—all while wondering why their own potential remains untapped.

This observation led me to develop the final element of the V.O.I.C.E. methodology: Engagement.

What is True Engagement?

Engagement isn't busyness. It's not the number of activities on your calendar.

Engagement is "getting in gear"—moving from theoretical to practical, from planning to performing, from thinking to doing.

I learned this lesson the hard way. While singing with Los Angeles Opera in two demanding productions while running my coaching practice, I developed vocal trauma that threatened my career.

This experience taught me that none of us can be engaged as a top performer in everything simultaneously. We have finite energy, and true engagement requires difficult choices.

The Power of a Positive NO

The most engaged people say "no" far more often than others. This seems counterintuitive, but it's profoundly true.

I say no to anything that doesn't feed my core values: Passion, Performance, Risk-Taking, Growth, Adventure, Leadership. If I don't see how something reflects my values, I simply don't engage with it.

This selective approach isn't about limitation—it's about liberation. By saying no to what doesn't matter, you create space for full engagement with what does.

The Engagement Pyramid

Not all engagement is created equal. I've identified three distinct levels in the Engagement Pyramid:

1. Interest: The bottom level is simply being interested in something. You might read about it or watch videos.
2. Presence: The middle level involves being physically present at events related to your interest.
3. Involvement: The highest level is active participation—doing the work, making the art, building the business.

Too many people skip the middle level, jumping from interest to involvement without confirming whether something truly resonates. This is why we see so many barely-used exercise equipment for sale online!

The Entrepreneurial Application

For entrepreneurs, engagement isn't optional—it's essential. I've observed that roughly 70% of startup failures aren't due to market conditions or competition, but to founder disengagement.

One of my clients, a serial entrepreneur with three failed startups, finally achieved success with his fourth venture—not because the idea was better, but because he remained fully engaged through the inevitable challenges.

Your Next Step

If you're ready to move from spectator to performer in your own life, here are three ways to begin:

1. Self-Assessment: Identify where you're merely interested versus fully engaged
2. Guided Process: Chapter Five of my book, Finding Your V.O.I.C.E., walks you through the Engagement Pyramid
3. Expert Facilitation: For those ready for deeper work, the V.O.I.C.E. Program provides personalized coaching

Remember: Your life is not a dress rehearsal. It's a one-time performance where you are simultaneously the writer, director, producer, and star.

The question isn't whether you have enough time, money, or connections to live an extraordinary life. The question is: Are you willing to fully engage with what matters most?